Saturday, 19 March 2011

The Ticking Clock

As I sit here at 3.40pm on a sunny Saturday afternoon this is my view. The only sound I can hear is the loud ticking of the clock above the ensuite door and the gentle breathing of my beautiful daughter in my arms.

The garish blue of the hospital walls and the clinical linen on the bed is a stark reminder of where we are and how quickly things can go downhill with a little one.

It's hard to believe that only a week ago we were celebrating her 2nd birthday in style and here we are with her hooked up to an iv drip to get fluids into her after a dire case of vommiting and diarrhoea - she couldn't even keep a thimble full of water down.

I have never felt so utterly helpless as I did last night. Her little body fighting against me, two doctors and two nurses as they tried in vain (no pun intended) to put the cannula into her hand to hook her up to the iv. It was the most awful moment of my life.

But this isn't a post to moan about how rough we've had it. As I pop down to the hospital cafe every now again to take a break and get a fix of caffiene, I'm reminded of how fragile our little ones lives are. I go past high dependency units and SCBU machines and it absolutely breaks my heart to think of those parents and children who have their lives literally hanging by a thread.

I've read blogs recently from parents with poorly children, children who spend most of their lives in and out of hospital and doctors surgeries and I can't even begin to imagine the pain and anguish they must have gone through. I've only had this hospital experience for the last 24 hours, so far, but it will be forever etched in my memory as the worst night of my life.

To all those parents and children who have suffered, are still suffering or will suffer in the future - you're in my thoughts.

17 comments:

Vickie Ford said...

The poor love, shes a fighter though and we all hope F is home with you and Matt soon x

Lady Estrogen said...

OH NO! Thoughts go out to you!
And I agree about the others around you in the ICU - it's heartbreaking. ;(

Liska said...

Get well soon brave brave girl, and get big and strong so you can look after your mummy like she's looking after you.
Liska x

Inside the Wendy House said...

Oh Heather, my heart goes out to you. There is nothing worse than seeing your little one suffer. I hope she's back to her normal, lovely self soon. Look after yourself too Heather...my thoughts are with you. XXX

Colette said...

Thinking of you and your little one, it is so scary what might be round the corner. Hope she has a good night of recovery.

Claire Penn Photography said...

:( Hope she's soon back home with you both so can go do all the things you had planned for her birthday. Big hugs for you all. xxxxx

Mummy and the Beastie said...

Glad to hear she is home now and on the mend. It is just awful when they can't keep anything down, my LO had that last year but luckily didn't need a drip. Once he could keep fluid down he absolutely loved the dioralyte, strange child! :-) xx Enjoy your own bed tonight...

Scribbling Mum said...

Sorry to hear, I can't begin to imagine how hard that must be. Hope tonight is a peaceful night. Sending positive vibes you guys way.

Scribbling Mum said...

Forgot to say... That photo of her sleeping on her Peppa Pig pillow, just heart melting. Nothing so utterly peaceful as watching a sleeping bub.

Claire said...

I'm so sorry to head that's she's so poorly! I'm thinking of you and I hope she is on the mend soon. It's true that there is always someone worse of than yourself but it's all relative. You're worry, anxiety and heartache is no less important than theirs. When it comes to our children we just want them happy and well, I'm sure she will be soon. Xx

Mummy Mishaps aka Jenny Paulin said...

Poor little mite and how scary for you and her daddy :(
Glad to read she is back home now xx

Run DMT said...

Poor little one! I hope she recovers quickly and can return home soon. (((HUGS)))

Cass@TheDiaryofaFrugalFamily said...

Bless her - it's so awful when they're poorly isn't it? My two have been ill this week although not nearly as ill as your little one and I've found it so hard as I hate seeing them ill - you just wish you could make it better for them. Hope she's on the mend soon x x

mothersalwaysright said...

Can't imagine how awful it is to see your little one suffering. Hope she's better soon. Thinking of you x

Elizabeth said...

Sorry she has been so poorly. We had both of our children in hospital this year with pneumonia of unknown origin. After the initial shock (about 4 days of shock!) with my son who was very poorly and had to have his lung drained, I started to look around me--and as you said, when you see the others suffering from life threatening or chronic illnesses, it really puts what you are going through into perspective.

SAHMlovingit said...

Thank you for all your lovely comments. It's now made me realise exactly what my mum and dad went through when I was severely ill at the age of 3. It's just horrific feeling so helpless and seeing them in so much pain. Thankfully kids bounce back so quickly and today she's like her normal self again.
Thank you again x

Liska said...

reading this again and crying x

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