Monday, 9 May 2011

Education And Estrogen

I know...usually us Brits call it 'Oestrogen' but cut me some slack...it didn't quite fit right in my blog post title so I'm adopting the other way of spelling it.  Besides, one of my blogging besties Lady Estrogen wouldn't be happy now would she?

Mini Cheddar is already signed up to start Play School this September but I hadn't got her signed up for 'proper' school.  I've had the form for a while but it wasn't until my friend said I'd better get it in last week that I sprung into action. I know, bad mummy! We are quite lucky in that there are 2 great schools within walking distance from our house but there is one that I would prefer her to attend.

So, I filled the form in and rather than post it I decided to drop the form in to the school on my way back home from shopping last week.

Big mistake.

See, the thing is I was quite emotional as it was 'that' time of the month.  You know... the time when any usually serene and angelic woman turns into a mega-bitch from hell?  The time of the month when you could quite easily feel like stabbing someone if they look at you the wrong way one minute or burst into tears watching a dumb TV commercial the next? Yup, if you're a woman, you'll know exactly what I mean.

So, I walked into the school with Mini Cheddar and it was fabulous, very organised but very friendly.  All the staff greeted me warmly and I was taken inside for more of a look around.  They interacted with Mini Cheddar and got her talking (she can be a little shy with strangers) whilst I sorted out where the form was to go.  Next thing I know Mini Cheddar was wanting to leave me to join in with all the school children and even indicated that she wanted to wear the uniform.

All of a sudden, I became aware of overwhelming emotions building up inside of me and I was struggling to hold back tears.  I can't quite describe what I was feeling. A sense of my baby girl growing up, her spreading her wings, the thought of her embarking on an education journey that I wouldn't be able to hold her hand through properly.  I don't know what exactly it was.  I was going to put it entirely down to my crazy hormones but even as I'm sat here typing this post I still feel the same.

I carried Mini Cheddar out of the school, got in the car and then the floodgates opened.

I couldn't stop crying.

If this is what I'm like now, I really need to buy some shares in Kleenex or something before she does start school.


13 comments:

Mummy and the Beastie said...

Ah you poor love! It's a really strange feeling when they wander off and don't need you. You always expect them to have their eye on you and run back but now they are getting older the independence is really kicking in. As much as it can get unbearable sometimes when they cling to you all day, the moment it stops I hate it. You can't win.

You must feel better after a good cry though? now you have overcome that experience I am sure you will be much braver next time.

What will it be like when they fly the nest?? doesn't bear thinking about *ssshhh*

xx

Liska said...

Aaron never ever cries when I say goodbye to him at the childminders, because he loves her.
It's a good thing because I really can focus 100% on work, but it tugs our heart when they are independent x

Very Bored in Catalunya said...

One of the good things about leaving your kids at school or nursery is the look on their little faces when you pick them up. You know they've had a lovely time but they are still so pleased to see you.

PS I blubbed like a baby the first day my son started nursery, I didn't even make it out of the building much to the amusement of everyone who worked there and all the other mums.

msissa said...

Oh, good grief, this just made me sob. Bleedin useless hormolus all round ;)

Scribbling Mum said...

I didn't even need the visit I cried when I got the form! Miss L starts in August and I admit to feeling excited and dread in equal measures.

Then just to give me another kicking I got confirmation that Little P got an 'ante-pre-nursery-school' place whatever the hell that is.

I wanted to tell them they could piss right off, you're not getting both my children, but realised it's probably fine.

*and breath*

Ooh Baby - All things Cuteable said...

Bless - I feel like crying after reading this too - hormonal wreck that I am ;o) xxx

The syders said...

None of my kids would stay at nursery and I would try so hard to get them to. I'd spend weeks having to sit in with them and as soon as I dare leave them they would spend the whole session crying. I worried that they would end up attached to my hip forever.

Its funny because all four of them now are really outgoing, sociable and independent (Well apart from borrowing the odd tenner from Papa which is usually a weekly occurance, lol.)

When my eldest eventually started 'big school' I had to have him prised off me kicking, screaming and crying...I sobbed all the way home.
My second son didn't give me so much as a thought when he started as he ran off to make new friends and it made the whole experience much more of a pleasure x

Karin @ Cafe Bebe said...

Bless you sweetie! It is hard isn't it? I sent Little Miss to nursery for the 1st time in January. Only 2 mornings a week but it still hurts my heart to leave her there even though she ADORES it and doesn't give me a second thought when I say goodbye. Such is the joy of motherhood! ;) Chin up...have a cuppa! Hugs!

Karin

multiplemummy said...

Oh honey I do understand. Noah starts school in a year and I am terrified of the thought, as from September he does one afternoon at school. He is too little, he is not three yet! When you little ones starts nusrery or pre-school I think that will help with the overlap, but I get it and yes I think shares in kleenex may well be a good idea! Thinking of you, and cuppa and chocolate required and lots of cuddles from you wee one! xx

Herding Cats said...

It's mourning, nothing to do with hormones. I've been there before myself, twice.

You're mourning the passage of time when you leave behind 'baby' and stride into that unfamilliar and scarey terrority of 'little girlhood'.

It gets worse before it gets better. You'll become a blubbering wreck at the play school gates and then again at the primary school gates.

But when you see the wonderful little girl she blossoms into, you will realised all the tears have been worth it.

xxx

alysonsblog said...

Id like to say it gets easier - but it doesnt - and I think its even harder if you are a SAHM as you dont get to 'practise' by sending them to nursery. I know exactly the feeling your talking about - I picked up the forms for Emma's school - where Im a governor - so no stranger - and still felt completely weird about it

Lady Estrogen said...

Awwee - so cute. Love the little back-pack.

I dunno how I missed this one - sorry!

x

SAHMlovingit said...

*sniff*

I don't know what's wrong with me but I've been UBER emotional lately (and no, I'm not pregnant). Thanks for all the comments, I'm glad I'm not alone!

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